If I was a flight attendant, I'd give everyone two bags of peanuts.
I'd tell everyone to loosen their belts a little (because if we crash it'll help you as much as a fly swatter against a lion).
I'd laugh at the rulebook and say, "Don't worry, keep it on, that's why they have airplane mode."
When you asked how I was, I'd say "phenomenal!"
I'd crack jokes over the intercom and make sure you were smiling. I'd play movies that pleased both the kids and their parents.
And I would definitely, most definitely give you the can.
I met the greatest flight attendant today. He was great! And inspired my little poem. He didn't say all of that, but I think he wanted to, and it's what I would want to.