Ephraim Alexander Beckman

Yeah, he's pretty cute.

So there are plenty of questions about the name change and our reasons, so I thought I'd clear that up.

Etienne was our choice for quite awhile for his first name, it is the French variation on Stephen.  We decided on that for awhile, because I thought it would be cool to have another Stephen in the family -Stephen, Stepheni, and Etienne- and Stepheni liked it because it was a family name.  We still like the name, but when it came time to put it down on paperwork and even before then we had second thoughts.  Every time Stepheni would tell someone what his name was going to be, we always had to repeat herself, sometimes several times, and it would always get weird looks.  We didn't want him to go through that his whole life, yeah he could have gone by Alex or Alexander from his middle name, but then why name him Etienne in the first place?

Second off, there was no real motivation to name him that beyond being a unique name.

So, we began looking back at our list and started over by looking at all the names we did like.  Yesterday, when the missionaries came to accompany me in giving Stepheni a blessing, it meant so much to me that they were worthy, willing, and excited to help us.  I want to teach Ephraim that story as he grows up and tie that in with his name just like Helaman did with his sons Nephi and Lehi (Helaman 5:6-7) in the Book of Mormon.

"Behold, I have given unto you the names of our first parents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were good.  Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also written, even as it has been said and written of them."

So, we considered the Elder's names, which didn't ring right, and several others, and finally settled on Ephraim, the "missionary" tribe.  It will be a good point of teaching, a great example, and a good reminder of righteousness and responsibility.  We prayed about it finally and felt good about our decision.  

Alexander ties in well with it as well, he being Stepheni's great-grandfather and one of the first members to join the Church in Norway, even when it was still illegal to do so.  Stepheni will talk more on that in her own blog.  

Hope this clears it up!

The best and the worst three days of my life

Once upon a time, I was a wee little boy scout, determined to make it with the big guys.  Thus determined I set off with them on the high-adventure group in North Carolina, a grueling 5-day backpacking adventure in the Appalachian mountains, surrounded by beautiful forests and strapped to 30 pounds of gear.  I got done, and swore off such activities, branding it publicly and in Sacrament meeting as "the worst experience of my life, putting it positively."

Wow, I was wrong.

I'll tack that one up to naivety and inexperience, because I don't have the words to describe the anguish that I felt watching Stepheni labor for that long and they don't compare.

If you read the last blog, you know how it all started with her water breaking (more on that later).  Friday night at about 9pm we got to the hospital and got to checking in and just getting into the groove of things.

At first we still tried to continue breast pumping to stimulate oxytocin to flow, and it did give her some contractions for quite a while, but they were not strong enough or consistent enough to be considered active labor.  So at 3 Saturday morning our midwife came in and talked to us about starting up some pitocin, and did so at a very low dose so that Stepheni could get some sleep.  We got a few hours and then they started upping the dosage around 7am, and continued to increase the dosage about every hour.  9 am they came and did the first check to see how dilated she was and she was at 5cm, we weren't sure how long she had been 5cm dilated since they hadn't checked previous to that as a matter of caution since her water had ruptured prematurely.  She was still in a ton of pain throughout, but she was intent on trying it without an epidural and so she endured like a champ.  During this time the greatest source of anxiety was not knowing how long this would go on.  They were coming back at noon to check her again and see if she was further dilated, but as of then there was no estimation to the time left.  It felt best for Stepheni to be on her feet during this time, being confined to the bed was awful since she couldn't move around at all, and all she could do was squirm around and try to breathe into the contractions.

Noon came, and the news was disheartening as she hadn't progressed at all.  Soon thereafter the OB/GYN came and told us that since she had been dilated to 5cm so long, it was referred to as an arrested labor, meaning nothing had happened for about 4 hours.  She gave us a window of another 2, at which point we would be beyond good practice and it was anybody's guess as to the birth defects that could occur.  She assured us that she respected our wishes, but that she had to cover herself and her practice by telling us that she would be officially noting that she had warned us and that the responsibility was in our hands to make an informed decision with the life of our baby.  No pressure.  The midwife talked with us and we decided to up the dosage again and see if anything had happened by about 2:30, at which time we would decide what we would do.  Throughout it, I was calling people and letting them know what was going on, and now it was with some fairly bad news.  Everyone was praying for us throughout and especially now.  My step-mom, Vicki spent some time on the phone and cried with me for awhile.  At times like this, I understand a bit better what it means to comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and mourn with those that mourn.  But my mom, grandpa, in-laws and everyone I talked with were praying for us and doing as much as they could from such a distance.

During this whole time the contractions were getting more painful and still weren't rhythmic at all, sporadic and in clusters at best.  So we decided to get some drugs into her to take the edge off.  Those totally knocked her out, the baby was asleep and she was conscious but only barely.  They did help her to relax and the contractions weren't nearly as painful anymore.  At this point, a C-Section was becoming a very real possibility and we knew it.  I started to make a few calls to see if any other priesthood holders from the ward would be able to come.  I had given Stepheni several blessings throughout but I needed the faith that only the companionship of several righteous priesthood holders can afford.  I got ahold of the 2nd Counselor and the Bishop, and we got ahold of the missionaries and they came right away.  It's difficult to describe the relief that I felt when they got there and were genuinely concerned about our well-being.   They gave me the first hug I had received in quite awhile and it was much needed; Stepheni and I were hugging and supporting each other throughout, but it was different when more support from outside your family crisis comes to the rescue.

I wished so badly that things had gone differently, and I was so scared of all the terrible possibilities that lay before us if she didn't progress any further, or if our baby went into distress with the increasingly intense contractions.  Throughout the whole process we had felt terribly alone, with the nurses only coming in and out to increase the dosage of that terrible drug causing Stepheni so much pain, and really no other present and outside support, it was awful.  Up to this point I had been as reassuring to everyone involved and especially Stepheni that it would all work out and everything was just as it should be, but it was looking less hopeful and we could only hope that she had progressed by the time Pam came back in.

At this point the midwife, Pam, came back and declared her as still arrested, at which point we decided to go ahead with the C-section.  This was something of a relief, knowing that either way this would all come to an end.  They scheduled the epidural and they took her off the pitocin, thankfully.  She told us that this had become something of a perfect storm:  the baby was asymmetric (I think that's the word, but it means his head was not going straight down the birth canal, kind of tilted), her water had ruptured before she had been in labor, he was posterior, and he was fairly big.  None of these things, by themselves are a game-breaker, but together they made delivery nigh impossible through the birth canal.

The missionaries stepped back in and we spent a few more minutes visiting and then we anointed and gave Stepheni a priesthood blessing.  The missionaries offered food and help of any sort that they could, which I turned down, my mind was on other things, frankly.  They left, but a spirit of reassurance and comfort remained and I spent the next hour calling people to let them know what was happening and sitting with Stepheni.  This was about hour 36 since her water had broken.

Stepheni was relaxed and dozing in and out when the anasthesiologst came in to administer the epidural which turned out to be another IV near her spine.  She was still pretty doped up on all the drugs and painkillers now, so she was gratefully asleep through most of this.  They then moved her out and down the hall to the operating room for C-sections and left me to get dressed in a sterile outfit.  When I arrived she was all prepped for surgery and I was able to sit by her head, camera in hand, for the big procedure.  It was a nervous few minutes but all of a sudden we heard the cry of our brand new baby boy!  "You can look now!"

I got up and saw our beautiful and very grumpy baby, fresh out of mom.  For those who have had this precious opportunity, you know what it is like, and for those that haven't then you will just have to wait, but it is totally worth the wait to do it in the right way and the right time.

They got him cleaned up and under the baby heater, where he got calmed down pretty quick, despite the huge shot they gave him for Hepatitis of some kind immediately.  He weighed in at 8 lbs 12 ounces and 20 1/2 inches, our little bundle of joy!

They handed them off to me a few seconds later, I was holding our brand new baby!  I showed him to Stepheni as soon as I could, and just held him for a few moments.  We were moved back to recovery where we got Stepheni some water and they began carefully monitoring her.  She was bleeding quite a bit, with a lot of clotting and blood still coming from her uterus.  It was worrisome, but the nurses and midwife were all working quickly and knew what they were doing.  They expected this though since she is redhead, because apparently they bleed more for no known cause.  At this point we made a few calls and got some pictures uploaded and the news was spread abroad.  About two hours after they wheeled her into recovery they rolled us quickly out and we were on our way to the permanent stay room and just relaxing here.

It's Sunday night now, and we have had the first twenty-four hours of time with our baby, Ephraim Alexander Beckman.  Precious, joyful, exhausted time.  Stepheni is so cute with him, and calls him "little dude" as she is feeding and cuddling with him.  I changed my first diaper with some help from Stepheni, which was super gross, but not as stinky as I thought it would be, like the green smoothies people like, only served in a diaper instead of a glass.  Stepheni and Ephraim have been poked and prodded several more times but all is well.  The missionaries came back to give us the sacrament, and they were the first people outside of the hospital to see him.

It has been, without exception, the best and the worst three days of my life.  But I guess that's how it is supposed to be, isn't it?

Graduation!

Yep, it's true:  I'm all gradumicated, even if auto-correct indicates that is not a word.  I have promptly stifled it's pleas with the "add to dictionary" button, forever and officially adding it to it's repertoire of useful, and more importantly fun, words.

But more important still, I am now a college graduate.

And yet more important than that, I have a job.  Yes, a real 9-5 job down in San Antonio!  Super excited. Because it means food, shelter, and better furniture!

But really, Stepheni and I are so grateful for the opportunity for work, especially in these economic times (cliche but true), and at such a wonderful company as USAA.  We will have the means to invite baby Etienne into our family with food, shelter and insurance!

Graduation was a little late in coming, but I am glad that I took the path that I did.  I managed to get a bunch of other random credits and fill out my education nicely.  Could I go back, I would take more computer science classes and less entry-level science classes.  But, as it is I am rather happy with my degree and the embellishments I accrued along the way.

I encourage everyone to get an education.

The parents and I in the gorgeous BYU-I Center!

There is my little head!

Smile!

Bumping elbows with the big guy (recent kidney transplant)
and Elder Ballard behind us.

Woot!  Mom in the background!

I put this up because Jolene and Mom were in this one.

And we got Julie out from behind the camera for this one ;-)

Family is awesome!

Being away from home

Being away from Stepheni for days at a time, is one of my least favorite things; I think it's even more keenly felt by her.  It's lonely for starters, and awkward when I reach out and take a perfect stranger's hand forgetting she's not right there.  For anyone else out there, we do some things to make the time apart more bearable.  

1.  We text.  A lot.  If it's busy, this isn't possible, but if it isn't then we are chatting it up some.  Keeping involved with each other at a distance is more possible each day:  texting, phone calls, FaceTime-type things, etc.  Speaking of which:

2.  Video Chat!  This is kind of fun, I remember before we were married and while I was at home loading up Skype and just leaving it on as we went to bed.  It was kind of nice to look over and see her and it made for some chaste pillow-talk while we were still engaged.  ;-)

3.  Read scriptures and nightly prayers over the phone.  Actually I've gotten some comments about this, but all of them positive.  We try to make it a point to read scriptures together and pray as often as we can when we are together, and continuing this as we are apart reinforces that.  

4.  Find something to bring home.  One time it was a rock I found while on a field trip to Yellowstone (I picked it up outside of the park).  Last time it was chocolate from Trader Joe's (Yum!).  Next time, who knows?  

5.  Take pictures just for them.  Sometimes I take a picture thinking about Stepheni and send it to her via MMS texting, or email.  It's easy and quick and a way to share a sunset, a pretty scene or a flower together.  

Seattle, with my friend Justin at a Sushi place.

I will be leaving tomorrow to go to my interview for USAA in San Antonio, and I will be doing exactly these things while I am gone.  The bottom line is to keep in contact while you are apart!  Good luck!  

Any other advice from the readership would be appreciated!

Life recently

Just to catch everyone up on the recent goings-on in the Beckman Household, we have been fairly busy:  Stepheni has been working hard as ever, and keeping us going financially by working at Jefferson Elementary as a preschool teacher!  She does such a good job, which is evidenced by her great love and patience for the little devils.  I've made token efforts at bringing home a paycheck, but $8 an hour doesn't compare to a salary =P  I'll make up for it when I have a real job.  Speaking of which:

The other stuff going on is my job search right now.  (For tips and tricks on such ventures look at my most recent posts on my other blog, here.)  Really I've been applying just about everywhere it feels like; I'll go in little spurts making and entering 3-4 applications a few times a week.  It's working out pretty well though so far, as I've had two interviews and both of them went very well.  I'm in the middle of interviewing with USAA and Epic right now, and both have been super great about communicating and talking with me about the process and any questions I have.  Both also happen to be involved in Healthcare, interestingly enough.

Big recommendation:  Keep you LinkedIn up-to-date and active!

Also:  Stepheni is pregnant!  Yeah, we all already know this, but I haven't announced it on here.  It has become much more real, now that we know that it's a little baby boy growing in there.  We are both very excited though, and have been looking at baby clothes much more often now =)

So, all in all, things are pretty awesome!  Thanks for reading.

FHE - Memory

Stepheni and I for this week are going to write about a memory that we have, important to us, something good to remember and share with others.  So here goes:

I think one of the happiest moments in my life was leaving on a mission.  Well, actually reporting to the MTC.  The months leading up to reporting as a missionary are pretty harrowing and nervewracking.  They tell you that it is the perfect time for tempatation to set in, they are probably right.  But flying out and reporting was amazing.  Holly, Lindsey, Mom and Dad were all there with me to support me and see me off.  I was bawling, and so was everyone else pretty much.  The video they show to everyone right before you leave and go out opposite sides of the big room you are in is pretty emotionally packed too.  If you leave there not crying you pretty much have no soul =P  But it was good.  I was all smiles though walking through the doors.  Thus started my journey on the mission.  It was wonderful, and I want to do it all over again!  I love the mission!